Lunchy, Munchy, Snarky

So I’ve received a complaint request from RR for more snarky posts. (Go ahead and read her initials as a growly sound, I do.) So, in honor of dear RR and her upcoming birthday, I have mustered up as much snark as possible for this post. Ironically, most of today’s snark comes from the birthday lunch for RR that half the office just returned from…

Overall, it was a very nice lunch, and for that I am glad because RR deserved a nice surprise lunch away from the office for her birthday. But there was definitely some stuff to snark about during lunch…

First, our server’s name was Addison. Now, I have nothing against the name Addison, in fact, I even sorta like the name – for a girl. But was our server a girl? Not unless, he was an overactive, masculine female. Now, does identify Addison as a name for both genders, but I’ve never met a guy Addison until this afternoon.

Second, Addison was not the world’s best server, especially not for my end of the table where I was seated and also MH who is also quite snarky in her own right. Addison was trying way to hard to be that fun, energetic server that large dining groups such as ours are supposed to love. Well, guess what Addie? You have half a small, disgruntled office on your hands and your pep is not appreciated.

Third, Addison looked pretty young. Probably just got out of school for summer break and is now working the summer to get ultra cool rims or a stereo system for his car – you know, the important things in life. I don’t know if he’s familiar with serving large groups, but I’ve seen servers handle things quite a bit better. Refills were not that forthcoming, food took some time to get out to the table, took quite awhile longer to get our checks out to us, and then he had to collect the checks in groups because apparently, it is very, very difficult to handle both credit cards and cash at the same time, even though you have those receipts to help you sort it out…

Last, Addison did one thing I really hate when I eat out and pay with cash (which I don’t do a lot, but happened to have cash). He asked my if I wanted change. Well, Addie, my bill came to a whopping $7.55 since I chose water instead of my regular Diet Coke and I am handing you a $20 bill. What do you think? Yeah, I’d like $20 in change please…

Maybe I should stop dining out, even my current favorite lunchtime eatery is getting on my nerves. I go to lunch early to avoid the crowds because I hate crowds, probably more than anything else, I hate crowds. So, I get there early, order my food, and take a small two-seater table out of the way. Well, I’ve posted before about people deciding they need to sit right near my table even though every other freaking table in the place is open and even though I am quieting trying to read a book during my hour of what is supposed to be peace. Going earlier solved that problem pretty well, but the owner of the place is usually there at the time I go to lunch and she is so loud. She is one of the loudest people I’ve ever heard. I can hear her talking to employees in the kitchen while trying to read my book.

Yesterday, I settled in to read part of Sophie’s Choice. (I am enjoying the book, but it is taking my a little longer to get through than some because the type is itty bitty and it’s kind of a long book.) There were four other people in the place at the time. Owner lady brings them out salad and then proceeds to stand by their table and very loudly discusses the new balsamic salad dressing they are using and is having all four people try it and tell her what they think. I am trying to get lost in the abusive relationship of Sophie and Nathan, but keep hearing things like, “It doesn’t separate like the old balsamic,” and, “It’s not as creamy…” Ack!

Once they are past the salad dressing discussion, Owner lady is seated at the table with the other four people and they have moved on to discussing video games and systems. They are all a bit older, and I vaguely hear them trying to decide which manufacturer makes the Wii system. I am trying not to listen, but at the same time am thinking, how can you watch TV or see an electronic store ad today and not know who makes the Wii?! Then I hear my name called. (They take your first name at this particular place so they can call you when they bring out your food, so they know me there, or at least my name.) Owner lady is calling me out of 1947 New York… “Who makes the Wii?” Nintendo, I say and promptly bury my head back in my book. I then hear them discussing how I would know since I am younger…

I found myself making what I call the “Char eye.” CD used to work in our office until she moved our to Oregon. CD used to make this one-eyed scrunchy look when she thought something was annoying and I find myself doing it at times.

I need to live in a bubble… a sound proof bubble. But they could pipe in some Nine Inch Nails into my bubble – I like me some NiN when I am stressed out, or some other hard, alternative rock… Speaking of which, KE said she was surprised to read on my recent Nano post that I listen to NiN. Well, I do, have for a long time.

It’s kind of funny how I got my first NiN CD The Downward Spiral. I had just gotten a CD player, you know one of those hulkingly huge ones that you had to hook up to a receiver to get any sound because they were still a pretty new invention (this was a long time ago). To build my CD collection I joined one of those CD clubs where you buy one at regular price and get 9 for $.01. Columbia House or something.

I didn’t listen to a lot of music when I was younger. We lived in a rural area and I was outside most of the time making up some adventure story. When I looked through the Columbia House catalog, I didn’t know most of the artists, so I just looked for ones marked ‘Parental Advisory – Explicit Lyrics’ because I was a rebel, I was hardcore. I’d never heard of NiN, but they had one of those black and white stickers, so I ordered it. That’s also how I got my first Nirvana CD… Nevermind.


1 Comment

  1. Anonymous said,

    May 30, 2008 at 8:51 pm

    Good post. Way better than the service at lunch!! By the way, you’re such an initial dropper….


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