Self-Diagnosis: NPD

Dear Everyone Who Knows Me In Real Life:

How many of you think of me as a nice person? Go ahead, raise your hands… hmmm… I have a confession for you if you raised your hand – you’re wrong. I’ve been thinking about myself today (which will feed into this entire letter/post), and I figured something out. I may like to do nice things, but why do I do them? Mainly because I enjoy the attention it brings me.

I have a limited store of “nice.” This is because I can only do so many nice things and then it gets old to me and the store has to refill. Being nice is exhausting to me. It uses a lot of my energy. I am not a naturally nice person, I have to work at it. That’s why this is the Snark Chronicles and not the Miss Nicey Pants Chronicles.

I decided to do a little self analysis. I’ve self diagnosed myself as having “Narcissistic Personality Disorder,” or NPD. The all-knowing Wikipedia give the following definition of NPD

a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and a lack of empathy

A subject has to fit at least 5 of 9 indicators to have NPD. Any guesses which 6 I attribute to myself? M. could probably guess with good accuracy. Also, NPD afflicts about 1% of the general population – awesome possum! I’m in an elite group!

Oh, and just FYI – I have a bit of “nice” right now. Any takers? It won’t last long…

Yours Truly,

PS – I am quietly adoring myself in my office today, please do not stop by and interrupt me. Thank you.



  1. Kathy said,

    April 9, 2008 at 3:13 pm

    I’m with both of you! Now there are some (just a few, mind you) that I don’t mind “chatting” with a bit. But, most of them? Not so much….

  2. LilSeed said,

    April 8, 2008 at 8:58 pm

    MH: Exactly! That’s why I would not be with the agency if I was still working in the same capacity as you. Coworkers are enough to drive me crazy, don’t need the clients doing it to me too! I’m crazy enough all on my own. Oh, and I love that about me!

  3. Anonymous said,

    April 8, 2008 at 8:53 pm

    On a related note:

    I have a general snark right now. Why do our “clients” feel like we are mind readers and should know if they are having a tough time even though they call asking about a completely unrelated topic? Just last week, we had a “heart to heart” and now this week, I’m not supporting you enough?!?! No, I’m not the type to ask about swimming lessons or gymnastics, but that doesn’t mean I’m not here for you. I have always taken time to reply to your e-mails, talk with you (even if it’s 3 times a day) and help with paperwork so you don’t have to worry about it. I’m pretty sure that’s support. It just upsets me that I guess I’m not very nice either. Do you want me to watch home movies with you? Do I need to add you as a friend on MySpace? Should we schedule a lunch date? At what point am I supporting enough? Do you want me to do my job or be your BFF?

    MH 😦

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