Meeting Mayhem

Meeting Mayhem
a brief play by LilSeed
Cast of Characters
MAURESA, a “higher up,” older woman with a bad sense of what constitutes a joke
RAEA, overworked member of the staff, younger woman with a wicked mind
NICIA, quiet observer of office life
This play takes place during a routine staff meeting, anywhere.
Act I (the only act)
Scene 1 (the only scene)
At Rise: (An office meeting room, anywhere in middle America. Mid-morning. The entire office staff has gathered around tables arranged in a long rectangle. At the head of the rectangle sit MAURESA and NICIA. RAEA is near the head of the rectangle, but seated on a side diagonally from MAURESA. Meeting is well underway.)
I believe we should further discuss how we are going to streamline office operations. I know we worked on such a process some time ago, but there has not been any progress thus far. Here is what I was thin–
We certainly could revisit that, but I thought it had all been taken care of. You need to let us higher ups know what you are thinking or there is nothing we can do for you.
(Holding up her hand to stop RAEA and smiling with false syrupy sweetness)
I only mention this for the good of the entire group.
(Several MISCELLANEOUS STAFF MEMBERS nod approvingly. NICIA observes the back and forth, but reserves judgment.)
I believe as higher ups (gestures to those sitting to her immediate right and left) we know what is good for this office. While I would love to hear your ideas privately in my office, I do not appreciate you bringing them up here in front of this group where I am put on the spot and cannot do more than give you sickeningly sweet smiles and pretend to appreciate what you are saying.
Okay, but if you would really listen to what I am saying and not just pretend like you are listening that would really help me and everyone else here out.
Let’s discuss what will be going on the rest of this week in the office.
(Ignores RAEA and moves onto another topic of discussion.)
(whispered under her breath) This will be the end of Mauresa.
(Wathcing the exchange with growing apprehension and also some secret delight because she knows what is coming next…)
(glares menacingly across the table, rage evident in the reds of her eyes. Suddenly, she leaps from her chair and seemingly flies across the room to grasp MAURESA’s thick neck between her hands. RAEA slowly begins to twist and turn her hands, slowly and meticulously ridding MAURESA of her breath)
(All clap and cheer for RAEA, the new office hero)

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